hold your tongue

October 2024

Let’s be real—this week’s topic is one I struggle with. I’ve had to really work on knowing when to hold my tongue. My top two strengths are belief and communication, so when I believe something, I talk... and talk... and talk—until I’m blue in the face. Sound familiar? But I’ve learned that sometimes the best thing I can do as a mom is to say nothing.

Recently, I sat down with my long-time friend, Aminta Geisler, to discuss her parenting journey, specifically the art of holding your tongue. Aminta shared great insights on balancing speaking up and stepping back. Catch a clip from our conversation [here].

LESSONS I’M LEARNING:

1. Pick Your Battles:
   Let the small stuff (like leaving the light on) go. Save your energy for the big issues that really matter.

2. Lead with Questions, Not Solutions:
   Instead of offering advice, try asking, “What do you think would work?” This helps teens develop critical thinking.

3. Give Them Space to Grow:
   Let go of control and allow them to make mistakes. Independence is built through experience.

4. Timing is Everything:
   Serious conversations go better when emotions have cooled. At our house, we take a break before revisiting big topics.

5. Embrace Silence as Connection:
   You don’t always need to fill the silence. Just being there together can build trust and connection.

ACTION STEP FOR THE WEEK:

Believe me, I know how hard it is to keep quiet, especially when your heart is screaming with the desire to help or guide. But I’ve found that holding my tongue at the right moments has opened up more opportunities for my teens to come to me when they’re ready to talk.

Share your stories with our Midlife Moms Connect community, and let’s encourage each other in the art of knowing when to speak—and when to listen.