when to guide, when to let go…
October 2024
Do you ever look back at old photos and wonder how time flew by so quickly? I have this picture of my girls when they were little, sitting in the car, pretending to drive. They were so excited, “steering” the wheel, thinking they had full control. Now, here we are—those little girls are growing up, and driving is no longer just pretend! It feels surreal, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how important it is to support their growing independence without letting go completely.
As moms of teens, we’re navigating a tricky balance. Our kids are becoming more independent, but they still need our guidance—just in a different way. Whether it’s managing friendships, navigating the world of social media, or even something as big as learning to drive, this season is all about trusting their growth while continuing to provide that steady hand.
Here are a few nuggets I’m focusing on for encouraging independence while keeping the connection strong:
Encourage Ownership – Let teens manage their own schedules and tasks, from homework to extracurriculars. Guide them when needed, but give them space to lead.
Foster Healthy Friendships – Encourage friendships that uplift them and teach them it’s okay to walk away from toxic relationships.
Set Social Media Boundaries – Talk openly about how social media affects them and set healthy limits together to protect their mental health.
Trust Their Judgment – Give them room to make decisions, but stay close and offer support when needed.
Watching them grow is a beautiful, sometimes bittersweet process. They’re stepping into their own, but they still need to know we have their back—just like when they were “driving” that car as kids, only now, they’re steering for real.
Ever struggle with how much to guide and when to let go?
Aminta Geisler, fellow mom and host of the MINT. podcast, offers some helpful advice.
Check out the full coversation here.
Action step for this week: What’s one way you can encourage your kid’s independence this week? Maybe it’s letting them take the lead on a big decision, or stepping back on something you usually handle for them.
Share your experiences with our Midlife Moms Connect community, and let’s support each other through this phase of growing independence!
